I used to HATE taking pictures. It just felt so forced. So artificial.
And I would totally scorn people as they took pictures.
- Did you even appreciate that work of art before taking a picture with it?
- Are you experiencing the concert or just trying to get the perfect shot for your Instagram?
- Can you just be present instead of trying to capture every little moment?
And I used to flat out refuse to be photographed. And that would be fine, if we still lived in a world where your work colleagues, your best friend, and your wife grew up a block away from you. But that’s no longer the case. The Internet allows us to do business, make friends, and even find love outside of our neighborhoods.
These connections sometimes start entirely online (with the rise of online dating) or start in person, and extend online shortly afterwards. For example, think back to the last time you met a pretty girl that caught your eye. What did you do when you got home? Stalked her on Facebook, of course.
Every article on making a good online dating profile stresses the importance of high quality pictures. OkCupid even says pictures account for 90%+ of your profile's attractiveness. It’s not that we’re all shallow, it’s just that in the absence of complete information, we are wired to fill in the gaps and make snap judgments.
This comes from our evolution – when your ancestors saw a guy approaching with a bloody spear, they didn’t wait for him get closer so they could “fully” assess his intentions. No, your ancestors had the instinct to make a snap judgment, and either flee or prepare to fight. Which is why today you so easily judge people on their appearance (and I do too).
Looking good in-person is a great start. But, because so much of our lives are lived online today, your in-person appearance and your online appearance affect your work life, your social life, and your dating life. I now see value in (selectively) capturing your life, even though I avoided it for several years. If you regularly take pictures, you will get better at taking pictures to showcase yourself. The better you showcase yourself, the more likely you are to attract the people you want to work with, be friends with, and be intimate with.
As with all things, balance is essential. I never want to be so focused on getting a perfect picture that I forget to experience what I'm actually doing. There is also a risk of being inauthentic, by projecting an image of yourself that isn't true. But that won't get you very far. Your online presence just gets your foot in the door. If you can’t back up the impression you give off, people will realize it quickly.
So go ahead, take pictures of what you’re doing. Try different poses and smiles to see what makes you look your best. Learn a few simple photo editing tricks (they work wonders). Better yet, hire a fashion/image consultant to make you look great in-person and online. It's the fastest way to change your life.
Are you projecting an appearance (in-person and online) that makes people want to work with you, be friends with you, and date you? If you’re interested in hiring me to elevate your style, so you can have the work/social/dating life you want, get in touch on my contact page.
Do you freeze up around women you're attracted to? Have you never kissed a girl? Have you never had a girlfriend? Do you feel that everybody else has friends but you don’t? I’ve been there. And it sucks.
Here's my 30 second story: I use a wheelchair and I have a degenerative muscle condition. I was always the shy, nerdy kid, and I had ZERO success with women – my first kiss didn't happen until I was 22 years old. I went to an Ivy League University and landed my dream job at Microsoft, but I was miserable. After the girl I was in love with told me, "I don't know how any woman could be attracted to a guy in a wheelchair," I hired a dating coach to turn my life around. Now, my social calendar is booked weeks in advance, and I get to choose the friends that I really want to spend time with. Now, I've been on 60+ dates, I've enjoyed sex and intimacy with several women, and I've had incredible girlfriends.
If you desire similar experiences, I know I can help you. Get my practical tips for improving your social and dating life by signing up below. If you're interested in my private coaching services, or even if you just have a question, you can get in touch with me by hitting reply to the confirmation email, or on my contact page. I would love to help you, because now that I've experienced these massive improvements in my life, I wish someone would have stepped in much earlier and helped me.