Texts feeling a little one-sided?

I hate it when this happens – I'm texting a girl (whose number I got in person, or online) and sure, she's responding…but she's not asking me any questions.

It's all about her, and I wonder – am I just her unpaid therapist?


You and I know the way to get people to fall in love with us, but not everyone is so…well endowed.

So what do you do?

You don't want to make a big stink about it and cause her to stop texting you. Because she's cute! And she might want to go out with you! And.............yeah, that's kind of all you are going off of at this point ;)

But you can't just keep at it, because it just doesn't feel fun anymore. You're wondering "why the hell is she texting me? is it just to pass the time?"

And the answer, sadly, is probably. But not always. Some girls actually do this (unconsciously or consciously) as a bit of a test, to see how the guy reacts. Because most guys are either:

  1. Too starved for female attention to do anything about it, or…

  2. Too easily angered and nasty when things don't go their way

And girls don't want either of those. And sure, you may be great at directing your team at work, and a very calm, collected person in general, but she doesn't know that. When you are first getting to know someone, it's all about sending the right signals. Because as a species, we are hardwired to make snap judgments.

So here's what you should do:

  1. Don't text back for a while. Give her the gift of missing hearing from you (a.k.a be unavailable). If she's interested, she will text you back and do her share to carry the conversation.

  2. Respond to her text, and add "your turn to ask me a question :)" This is a very light, playful way of letting her know that you're neither a doormat or a monster, but you do expect her to do her part.

Ultimately, if she's not really interested in you, neither of these will work. But that's a good thing, because it will save you time and frustration, and you can move on to other women.

But if she is interested, and just a little jaded (from all the other guys fucking it up out there) this will let her know that you are not a little boy who becomes angry and nasty if she doesn't give him attention, but that you are a man with certain standards – and she will enjoy rising to the occasion.

Want help with your specific situation? Let's talk one-on-one.